Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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