Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
