I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I need water and some morals
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
