My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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