It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
