i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
