Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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