belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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