yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm both gender and math confused
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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