uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
