I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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