i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Two words: nipple clamps
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