my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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