New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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