That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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