So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
