I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
