She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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