I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
