Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
