are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
