If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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