so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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