Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
