is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
