I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
