is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
