We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
