accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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