i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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