gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
