Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
