You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
