Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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