He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I take back everything I said about communal showers
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
