i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
