You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
