So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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