I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
