hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
