New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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