he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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