I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
