How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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