which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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