thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
