i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
