There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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