ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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