i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
