I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
