my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
