Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
