I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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