Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
