remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
