I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
