My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
