Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize