he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
