Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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